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April 23, 2006


When I was very young, I saw the movie, "The Children's Hour," with Audrey Hepburn and Shirley MacLaine. After it was over, I asked my mother, "Why did she kill herself?" My mother's simple answer was, "Sometimes men fall in love with men, and women fall in love with women."

When I was 19 I met Charles. I was a lonely, unhappy girl and he turned out to be one of the best friends I ever had. He accepted me for me. I could tell him anything. He died of AIDS when I was 32.

This year I will be 50. I am happily married. I think of Charles often, and smile. I am so grateful to my mother for her explanation of homosexuality. It taught me to accept people for who they are, and to appreciate people who accept me for who I am. There is no room in my life for people who label others.


The only way I know to fight back against intolerance and hate is to expose it for what it is and to expose those who preach it and teach it. The current cabal who operate under the banner of religiosity but practice deception and hypocrisy will hopefully be exposed for the hatemongers and false teachers they are. The culture of life facade will eventually fall if enough people of good will and good hearts confront the evilness of hate and intolerance in every nook and cranny of their own environs. It will take time. Perhaps a long time. But the people of good heart and will must hold firm. We can encourage each other. We can listen to the stories of others like hungrycoyote. We can learn. We can fight it, together.

hungrycoyote, that is a beautiful story. Charles was lucky to have a friend like you.

Something I forgot to mention in the story - today (Monday) is the Day of Silence.


Sorry for the brain freeze. I meant Wednesday, not today, for the Day of Silence.

It’s become fashionable to talk about family values. In today’s culture war, the posturing by various groups to become the definitive voice on the subject is rampant. All too often the debate centers on issues outside of the family in what appears to be an attempt to vilify segments of the population that don’t meet with the approval of any given group. Most recently, homosexuals, through their efforts to legalize gay marriage, have become the focal point of many of these family values proponents.

From my perspective, children learn their values at home and the values they adopt are primarily discerned in proportion to the degree of sincerity and integrity they believe exists in their parents. In this construct, the degradation of family values originates within individual families as a result of a child’s perception that their parents are inauthentic and hypocritical. It’s also important to keep in mind that nearly every homosexual is the product of a heterosexual relationship and a heterosexual family. Consequently, the fact that the vast majority of children are raised in traditional heterosexual families makes the premise that homosexuals endanger the family not only flawed, but blatantly absurd.

In trying to then determine what is wrong with families, the indicators seem abundantly evident. Firstly, a family cannot succeed if the parents aren’t committed to personal responsibility, a trait that frankly cuts a swath across all of society in its impact on the overall health of civilization. When personal responsibility is abandoned, so are the family and ultimately the society.

The family fails when parents demonstrate their own intolerance and disdain for others. It’s not uncommon for a parent to have issues with their own parents and when they live out these failed relationships, their own children are taught that it’s acceptable to choose conflict and estrangement rather than compromise and conciliation. This can take the form of a dispute with a sibling over money or the holding of a grudge against a former employer or coworker. Sometimes it’s an instantaneous conflict with the soccer coach or the store clerk. Nonetheless, all of these actions have impact.

Ultimately, the family succeeds one child at a time and that must start at home. The relationship of the Mexican couple down the street or the gay couple in the grocery store can only threaten one family…their own. Time spent obsessing about the actions of other families simply detracts from the precious time each family needs to succeed. The sooner families begin to act accordingly, the sooner the value of all families can be maximized. If and when this happens, the individual will flourish and society will endure.

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